She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
then he tried to convert me to islam
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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