I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
