I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
