I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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