this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
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