She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
