Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
i barfeds in our rink
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Randomize
