You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
