just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
This is classic penis vs brain.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
