i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Randomize