Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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