I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
