my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
