oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
