32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
