And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
