There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
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