hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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