he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Randomize
