Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Randomize
