I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
This house was built for laser tag.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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