if i can run in heels then i can drive
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Randomize
