She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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