You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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