You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
