i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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