i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
