and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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