I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
