okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
