Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
