question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
ugly people sure do ruin things
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize
