xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
