i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Randomize
