Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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