dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
Randomize
