his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
