so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
