Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It's still to early in our relationship to tell her I was sleeping in my car
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Randomize
