How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
