The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
