we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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