apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Randomize
