it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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