East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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