I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
The producers of Marley and Me owe me about $5 million. That's the dollar amount of embarrassment compensation required for making a 24-year-old male cry publicly on an airplane while sitting in the middle seat between a gorgeous babe and a guy with a do-rag
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
