Im at strip club and am horny
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
