Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
