Soap is not a condiment
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
