I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
