Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
