so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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