the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
