So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Randomize
