No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
